So this weekend was full of news, and I thought I'd take the time to rant on some of it. It's the day after a long weekend and I'm not ready to actually work yet.
Last night and this morning on the tv network and cable news the top stories were a pregnant 17 year old, this gathering of old rich dudes called a "convention," and a huge storm thrashing the Gulf Coast. You may not of known about the tropical storm with the media storm surrounding Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol.
Bristol Palin's pregnancy was the largest item on the news and stomped all over coverage of everything else. Interview this morning with Ray Nagin on The Today Show? Bookended by longer interviews with people about the pregnancy. An item on the convention? Littered with mentions of the pregnancy. So I asked myself this morning driving in to work- what's the big deal??
So the big deal is, Bristol Palin is 17 and unmarried. Her mom's people were probably defuddled by the backlash. Her people are thinking, "But, but, Juno was like the most popular movie last year, people loved it, we thought she'd be just as adorable as that Ellen Page with a little 'baby bump'- people eat that up! Look how photogenic Bristol is!"
People are saying she's a bad mom because she hasn't been watching her daughter enough and this is what happens. Oh, what is the big deal?? When asked how her mother's busy schedule on the road with McCain would affect her parents keeping an eye on her, she was like, "Yeah, my Mom will be gone a lot with that white haired dude, but I'm already pregnant, what other shennanigans can I get in to?" and shrugged. The room of reporters cooed and giggled. "Oh, she is so cute!" I thought, "and makes funny pop culture references!"
I saw a picture of Bristol holding her little brother wrapped in a blankie. Now, my hours of careful research (People, Us Weekly, TMZ.com, etc) have revealed that at 5 months pregnant, you're supposed to "hide the baby bump" from photogs. She took a cue from Jennifer Garner or Jessica Alba or a number of way-pregnant celebs that wearing a flowy dress, carrying a large Birkin bag or bucket of fish heads in front of your bulging tummy is a great way to hedge the "is she or isn't she?" rumors. Very savy, Bristol!!
Also, everyone knows that babies are the new chihuahua, duh. Have you seen the pictures of Jamie Lynn Spears all over town with her baby? She went from tabloid trash talk to adorable Hollywood mommy just with the addition of a $1500 stroller and expensive baby clothes. How quickly we can go from gossiping over an unwed teenage mother to commenting on how quickly she got her post-baby bod back in shape, you go girl!!
Nothing takes the wind out of the sails of a scandal like a cute baby pictures.Note how the quote says "Being a mom is the best feeling in the world." Not "oh shit I destroyed my life." It's all in the attitude, girls!
People has already announced they'll pay a $3 mil for the first photos of the little Palin bastard. The Brangelina twins replied "Oh hells no you didn't!" but since they're like 10 weeks old it sounded more like "gahhh bleh booboo ya!"
Sarah Palin commented that her daughter will marry the baby daddy. You know what that means- no, not a shotgun wedding with a grumpy groom who knows his life is now sooooo over at 18. It's time for People Magazine's coverage on the wedding plans!! I cannot wait. Oh, here's the secret location shot from a helicopter. Here's an exclusive interview with an inside source about the candy favors they've selected, and what their colors will be. It happened with Ashley Simpson, who was also wink wink not pregnant hehe when she married that emo haired dude.
So, in conclusion, get over it, people! She's not the first or last teenager to get pregnant. Let's start talking about the issues in this election, not Cindy McCain's fashion choices or Obama's half bro living in a mud hut. Real issues, like that crap that's going on in the state of Georgia, or Paris Hilton's energy plan.
